20 comments on “12 days of Christmas- I find it funny that people think domestic abuse in Kaibutsu-kun is cute

      • Sarcasm? Of course not! I’m sure all those ten year old girls watching this show at 1am every week anew were manipulated in regards to how to be proper rape victim. That’s a serious matter!

      • My 14 year old sister certainly found it all very cute, and she’s a… *sigh* smart girl, so I don’t see why others wouldn’t be blind to the abuse…

      • Let’s also keep in mind that video games kill people and that the Harry Potter franchise glorifies witchcraft. And then there’s still Monopoly, teaching children about the merits of the monstrosity known as capitalism. So many world problems, so many blinded people. What are we supposed to do?

      • Despite you opposing me (something I usually hate) I can’t help but like and respect you for your wit!

        I don’t know about Harry Potter and Monopoly *rolls eyes*, but a tenuous link certainly has been drawn up between violent video games and real life violence. I suppose a tenuous link such as the one between violence in video games and in real life, and even in other media and in real life, cannot be accepted as fact, so perhaps I shouldn’t have put it like that, but I myself believe very strongly that there is a relationship.
        Have you heard of Orson Welles War of the Worlds broadcast? How a large number of Americans believed Martians were invading simply because they heard it on the radio? Don’t you think that’s evidence for how some accept media messages passively and uncritically?

  1. I do indeed think that there might be _some_ link between violent video games and say, school shootings. Nevertheless, putting the blame on the last and most insignificant link of the chain is inappropriate. It first takes some madman and a whole lot of guns for such things to happen and that’s where things are fucked up, not at the plane of video games. That’s the root of school shooting and the likes and that’s the part that needs to be treated, not video games. Sure, for very, very few people they ~might~ act as a catalyst but pretty much everything in life bears risks once the wrong kind of person is involved. A kitchen knife, for instance, can also serve as a weapon. Now, let’s say that a psychopath kills another person with a kitchen knife. Should we be wary of kitchen knifes from now on and ban them all or rather try to treat as many psychopaths as possible?

    Anyway, btt: Unfortunately, I have not yet heard of your example but let’s assume for arguments sake that it’s true – so what? It doesn’t take Americans believing in aliens because of a radio report to figure out that the media has quite a lot of influence on us, that’s a well-known fact. Each and every one of us knows at least one major tabloid paper spreading bullshit on a daily routine. It’s a well-known fact that the press, while informing people, also loves to blind them. Yes, media can influence us. Nevertheless, there are still differences and variations between different types of media and you shouldn’t just use “media” as an entitiy that works all the same, that would be very, very unwise. In this case, you are referring to media as a means of serving information, including wrong information. But how does this relate to anime? None of this applies to Kaibutsu-kun since it’s a work of fiction. Now, don’t get me wrong, fiction can have influence on how we think and act but it’s completely different from how the press has an influence on us. But how is all of this related to Kaibutsu-kun? You told me that your sister considered those “dangerous” elements of the show as cute – fine, let’s assume that that’s the case. So how could Kaibutsu-kun possibly influence her? It’s not like the show actively supports the inferiority of womenhood or violence against women or anything like that. For instance, you are not meant to spend any thoughts on the rape line and neither were there any thoughts spend on it when the creator came up with it. Sure, one might say that that’s what makes things so problematic, since the show passively downplays something rather serious like rape but that doesn’t mean that viewers are going to be influenced by that. Do you think any female being watching the show would suddenly think that rape is a good thing and that inferior treatment of women should be actively supported? Hopefully not. While the show might downplay rape (with no evil intentions at all), it does not support it. There’s a difference between those two things. There are a lot of rather serious matters to be found in entertainment media – drugs, violence and the likes. In 99% of the time, you don’t get a subtitle saying “This is clearly a bad thing and you shouldn’t do this at home”. Just because those things are not explicitly marked as bad, however, however, does not mean that there’s a glorifying depiction of them at hand.

    • I did not claim that anime, or video games, or any other form of media was the only influence on violent behaviour. After studying both psychology and sociology for a couple of years, and starting my forensic psychology degree (which focuses on the causes of violent, criminal behaviour), I’ve become fully aware that there are many influences on violent behaviour, for example, brain structure, chemicals in the body, the heuristics (rules of thumb) we have, socio-economic status, and more, so, therefore, the influence of the media is but one of many influences. But if, as you yourself said, it can act as a catalyst, surely we should at least be wary of what media messages the young and impressionable consume? The wrong mix of chemicals and the socio-economic status of an individual are difficult to treat, but if- and we can- avoid children receiving wrong media messages, surely we should do something about it? : )

      In my opinion, downplaying rape, and other forms of violence, are just as dangerous as actively supporting it- downplaying it makes it out to be no big deal, or at least that it is not necessary to take action against it, don’t you think?

  2. I have to add my two cents here…
    I personally stopped watching the show, I mean if you had to tell a 14 year old a story, would you mention rape or domestic abuse in that story? Things done by the main protagonist on top of that.
    Have you guys ever heard of the difference between the subconscious and the conscious and how they operate differently? There’s always been a debate on whether or not we are indeed affected by whatever we see or interact with on TV or from the media. The media being just about everything from the internet to anime. We don’t realize but our subconscious absorbs every little piece of information you interact with even if it is not actively seen or heard. The conscious mind on the other hand only processes a small amount of the information that the subconscious absorbs.

    With this information in mind, yes kids are indeed influenced by whatever they see on tv, to a certain extent that they might behave a certain way or desire a certain product without even realizing why. So the show might not support rape, but the idea might possibly be introduced into the viewer’s mind without him realizing so, which in my opinion is quite terrifying. Considering all of this that is why I view the media as one entity, its not just necessarily the news misinforming a population. Its simply mostly what we absorb through that tv screen, the advertisements we are exposed, the radio, and etc.. etc…

    In conclusion though that show fucking sucked.

    • Thank-you for adding to the debate, I hadn’t even thought about how the media can unconsciously influence our thoughts and behaviour, though there is actually a lot of debate on whether or not this is true. However, as I said during a previous comment, it is easy to avoid sending the wrong kind of messages to the impressionable, so perhaps it would be best to err on the side of caution and do just that regardless of whether or not there is an unconscious element…? I mean, there’s certainly a conscious element, so…

  3. Tonari isn’t saying that rape / domestic abuse is okay, obviously Haru is waaay to violent to Shizuku but many of the times it was just an accident, not saying that makes it alright but he has always showed some sort of guilt and in the third picture he was actually trying to defend her. You said that he doesn’t let her talk to other men but you did take this out of context as in the show he was referring to his brother as he hates him , a fair thing to say as Haru’s brother is an arse. In the other picture where he hits her it has also been taken out of context as he was trying to hit the blonde kid, not domestic abuse! In the picture when Haru is saying ‘I thought you said you loved me’ he was only confused as he stated earlier that he didn’t want Shizuku to she his brother and thought that she would listen to his one request so was only questioning this.

    Tonari will barley influence little girls that abuse is okay, everytime he ‘abuses’ her, Shizuku sticks up for herself and doesn’t just let him. It is a 13 episode anime where there is rarely forms of ‘abuse’ to the girl. This will not make anyone think abuse is okay. What happens is not nessacarily right, I do not condone rape or violence but despite this he is nice to her, he does apologise, he is changing himself for her and throughout the show he has become less violent to her.
    As ZakuAbumi said its not as if the show actively supports the beating of women.

    IM 15 not 14, 15!! Parts of the show are cute not him hitting her but other parts of the relationship are, don’t worry 325 minutes wont affect me that much.

    • Even if the times he hit her were accidental, it is still bizarre that the show, and its fans, actively support Haru and Shizuku becoming a couple when she is obviously not safe from physical harm when around him. And it is never right for a man, or a woman, to dictate who their partner can or cannot spend time with, regardless of the person in question’s character. You know what, I’m just going to refer you on the NHS’ page on domestic violence. Scroll down, look at the list, and see how many apply in this instance.


      Also, it doesn’t matter that Shizuku sticks up for herself, or that Haru was apologetic, abuse is still abuse, and should be recognised as such rather than neatly stashed away in a corner and forgotten about.

      And you should know better than to suggest you won’t be influenced in just 325 minutes. How long did it take for the children in Bandura’s experiment to learn violent behaviour through observation? Or how long does it take an advert to entice you into buying a product

  4. I haven’t seen this anime myself, but this show definitely seems to create a mess, a slippery slope for behaviour considering those that would watch it. Material should be appropriate for its audience, an issue to common in today’s world. But on the flip side, I want more mature scenes dealing with scenes such as domestic violence and the like, but highlighting the dark side, the grim truth of it. Rather than glorifying or making light of it (for instance, what all media does with death these days).

  5. Yeah, this kind of abuse doesn’t make for good comedy because it happens very often, and is quite sad. It’s more fun to watch women beating up on men (the old henpicked husband), because this is less common and it’s amusing to see someone weaker getting away with picking on someone stronger.

    • Hmm… I dunno…
      Abuse should be treated as being a serious issue whether the violence itself is man-on-woman or woman-on-man. A lot of men do not speak up about being abused by their partners because it has been belittled by the media, or because it seems a comment on their masculinity, or ‘lack of’…

  6. I don’t like Tonari for many reasons, but I do agree that it’s weird that fans don’t seem to be bothered by all of the times Haru ends up accidentally hitting Shizuku. But in my opinion, Haru and Shizuku’s romance doesn’t work not just because of his temper, but because they simply don’t mesh together. Shizuku is so robotic that I can’t see why Haru likes her, and when Shizuku says that Haru changed her world I wasn’t convinced – I just couldn’t see how she fell for him so fast when he had been nothing but a nuisance to her. Nothing about Tonari is convincingly romantic, nor do the characters appeal to me, so I’m having a hard time understanding why people think it’s such a great shojo series when there are far better ones out there (Lovely Complex).

    • That’s a good point. Shizuku says Haru changed her world, but I can’t think of many instances where she says or acts as though she’s actually happy she has people who care about her now- she always pushed those around her away in order to spend more time studying right up until the very end of the show. So yeah, if not for that reason, why does she like him?

      Nice! Lovecom is my favourite shoujo series!! High five!!!

  7. As a fanboy of Tonari, the reason why I’m not bothered by Haru wrong behavior is because the anime actually acknowledge that this -is- wrong behavior. He is qualified as a “monster” by the very title of the series and the part of his personality that makes him a freak is never put in a good light. Actually, his bad traits are pointed out all the time by the other characters and most importantly, Shizuku never lets him have his way with her. He accidentally punch her? She rejects and forbids him from approaching her. He spills his drink on her? She retaliates in the exact same way. He asks her to not go to a supplementary lesson because his love rival goes there too? She refuses to obey that without any negotiation and is actually quite angered by how he tried to manipulate her love for him.

    And not only his wrong behavior is clearly pointed out, but Haru can also be a very frightening person. He showed a murder intent toward his love rival, and I don’t get why so many people think the rape threat was a joke when it is clear that you -are- suppose to empathize Shizuku fear (we’ve been in her head since half an episode and suddenly she is assaulted by this freak guy, why wouldn’t we fear for her?).

    What makes Tonari a really interesting show in my opinion is seeing how this dysfunctional couple will comes to an understanding and learn how to interact with each other (Shizuku is also a social freak in her own way).

  8. Pingback: A year of Watashi wa bucho!! « Watashi wa bucho!!

  9. Domestic abuse is a terrible and serious issue, but that’s not what is happening in this show. If you feel so strongly about it, fight against it, don’t rag on shows that portray things similar to it.

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