Strange anime crushes, we all have them. Some of us, myself included, even have a whole host of them. If pouring through all of the objects of my affection has taught me anything it’s that, rare is it that I’m actually attracted to anybody nice and normal. No, it seems I have a disturbing (and somewhat embarrassing) predilection towards literal monsters, the mentally unstable, the arrogant or otherwise overconfident, or anybody in possession of a nice, fluffy tail. Below are five more of these far from wholesome crushes…
Holo – Spice and Wolf
Despite the fact that Spice and Wolf (the anime) is now over a decade old, Holo remains one of the anime fandom’s most treasured leading ladies, managing to maintain her spot within MALs top 10 most popular female characters ever since the show first aired. What I’m trying to say is that I’m probably not the only person to have fallen for her. However, that doesn’t change the fact that she’s not human, but a wolf in
sheep’s human’s clothing. Take note of her fangs, fluffy tails and ears, and distinct lack of… um… lady parts. Though it might break some kind of law for me to fancy her, I just can’t help it! She’s smart, strong, charming, sexy, and beautiful. And, best of all, she knows it! She may possess claws and fangs, but these assets are definitely her most powerful weapon, laying waste to many of the hapless men around her!
Rukia Kuchiki – Bleach
Bleach is like an all-you-can-eat buffet of beautiful, busty babes… Rangiku, Orihime, and Yoruichi are just a few of the gourmet dishes on offer. Why, then, do I find myself drawn to the short, surly, and boyish Rukia? Well, that’s a very good question, one which I do not have a sensible answer to (since even I’m baffled by my crush on her). The reasons I have for liking her are silly at best: she sucks at drawing, which is really cute, she kind of reminds me of a crotchety old man (feeble, yet full of pride), and her funny (subbed) voice never fails to amuse and delight me (again, for reasons I don’t quite understand)! And in an anime full-to-bursting with long-legged, supermodel-like shinigami, her understated, tomboyish looks are kind of refreshing!
Sabrina – Pokemon
Wait, before you call the feds on me, hear me out! While Sabrina can’t be more than 15, 16 tops, I still needed to include her on this list. The reason being that she was my first ever anime crush. Her coldness, destructive psychokinesis, and fondness for turning other people into living dolls aren’t qualities that most normal people would find attractive, but I was a pretty strange child… My parents would often come downstairs at night to find me watching old, black and white horror flicks on the tele and, instead of fairy tales, I’d much rather them read me ghost stories before tucking me in for the night. So I kind of dug the spooky vibe that she had going on. Even before I knew what it meant to be attracted to somebody, I found myself rewatching her introduction episode, the one in which she absolutely wiped the floor with Ash and Pikachu, over and over and assembling my very own team of psychic pokemon on the Game Boy, so I could be just like her!
Sawa Nakamura – Flowers of Evil
Sadly, the Flowers of Evil anime doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of just how twisted Nakamura is… That’s right, the stalking, the joy she derives from manipulating poor Kasuga, and her tendency to lash out, both verbally and physically are just the tip of the (very problematic) iceberg that is Nakamura. Since we’re never getting a second season I’ll go ahead and spoil this for you – so desperate is her desire to escape the stifling, oppressive town in which she lives that she’s even willing to douse herself in gasoline and set herself alight! OK, so none of this says “hot date” (pun intended), but as somebody who struggles with mental illness myself, I really identified with her restlessness, her all-consuming desire to escape the cage that confined her. I’ve felt similarly… It’s a nasty, itchy feeling, like bugs crawling underneath your skin. And though the show’s art style was about as well-received as a fart in an elevator, I thought that it lent Nakamura such expressiveness… I may be the only person to think so, but I thought that she was beautiful.
Teresa – Claymore
Another non-human addition to my list! Teresa may look human, and, with her striking silver eyes and silky, platinum blonde hair, an extremely beautiful one at that, but, in reality, she’s a Claymore, a half-human, half-yokai warrior woman. Beneath her armour lies the evidence of that. During one episode, in order to deter a band of would-be rapists, Teresa undresses. I can only imagine what the men must have seen (since it was left to the viewers’ vivid imaginations), maybe scales, maybe a mess of scars, but, whatever it was, it was enough to send the men running for the hills. In spite of that, I still find myself drawn to Teresa. Despite being half-yokai, she looks positively angelic, her serene smile belying her ferocity. Much like Clare, I came to adore her as guardianship softened her rough edges.
So there you have it! I’ve outed myself as a lover of complete and utter nutters. As with my last list, I’d love to know which loony (or otherwise unusual) anime gals you secretly crush on! Don’t be shy. We’re all friends here!